How To KILL A Writer!
I am not saying everything I write is gold, but I am saying everything I write has some kind of potential. So what can actually take a writer from writing...short of death?
I am about to find out. Last month I tore my shoulder up lifting a patient (I work in the medical field), and after seeing a couple of doctors, and experiencing a serious increase in pain, I am scheduled to have surgery to repair my rotator cuff in four days.
The surgeon described the surgery in very short and succinct terms. He said that he will go in arthroscopically, and ruff up the bone where the tendon tore. Then he will pass several screws through the muscle and screw the tendon back down to the roughed up area. The screws are biodegradeable and will eventually dissolve. The tendon will reattach to the roughed up area as the bone and tendon heal together.
After he has placed the screws, he will go back in with sutures and sew up the tear. The sutures won't dissolve, but as the tear heals, the tendon will grow around them and they might add some support.
So after this two hour procedure of having a scope and surgical tools repeatedly passed through the muscle and sinew of my right shoulder, what will happen? The one thing I know for sure is that I will feel nothing from my shoulder to my fingers until the nerve block wears off. Then I will be in major freaking pain.
The recovery period for this type of surgery is three to four months. I am prepared for it, but worried about it as well. I thought, "Hey, I will have some free time to do some writing!" This thought was great until I sat and thought about it. I am right handed. In fact, I can do absolutely nothing productive at all with my left hand. It is actually kind of amusing to see me try to operat e a computer mouse with my left hand. Somehow it goes so far out of whack that I can move the cursor on my wife's laptop next to me.
I am not going to be able to write. I am not even sure that I will be able to type. So I thought, maybe I can dictate with voice recognition software. That's not going to happen. First, I hate if people can hear or read my words before I make sure they are good enough for someone to be exposed to them.
There is some type of filter between my brain and my fingers. As my words travel from thought to production, these filters syphon the thought several times, so that when the words hit the page, they actually have meaning and creativity.
Now, don't go thinking that I am full of myself. My books have been edited by me and several other people. I can't tell you how many edits I have on each one, but they are many. When I go back and look at my first drafts, I really think the writing sucks.
My query letters have evolved like the evolution of man itself, and I am sure I am still not to the final stage on them yet. When I read the first drafts of those, I sometimes get embarrassed that I actually sent them to an agent or publisher. What the heck was I thinking? Now they are fairly well written, but there is always room to improve a query letter....until you get that book picked up by an agent or publisher.
That leads me back to my original question. What can actually take a writer out? I fear that I am about to find out. Though I sit here with plans to write and query and write some more. I wonder if I actually will be able to do it.
I guess I will find out Wednesday, because Tuesday is D-Day.
