Intelligent Design - The Gameshow!
I love it how science and religion merged together a few years ago to try and push the concept of creationism back into schools with that wonderfully Fred Nile endorsed version of evolution, intelligent design. Intelligent design! You must be kidding. No intelligent being would possibly create humans.
Seriously, we are so un-intelligent. We fight, steal, bitch and moan, we covet, lie, cheat, divide, conquer and generally fuck each other over at any given opportunity. We are single handedly responsible for the widespread destruction of our planet. The only way an intelligent being created us would be if that intelligent being were conducting some giant experiment in the biggest Petri dish ever, the Earth and wanted to see how quickly a species could not only annihilate itself but everything else along with it.
It just mustn’t have been fun enough to watch the dinosaurs choking to death after the intelligent designer hurled a stone in their general direction. Best to go on and create another one, this time with none of those nasty spikes and teeth, perhaps a little cuddlier, maybe more in His image?
That’s it you know. We are just one great big experiment by God to ‘see what happens’. Ho ho ho, I can hear the fat man chortling to Himself up in the clouds, having a little giggle at our puny cities compared to His I Am Lord God Don’t Fuck With Me Palace In The Sky. There is the intelligent designer, a dirty old sycophant with a penchant for pestilence and mass murder. What a great guy. Leaving us here to battle it out for His entertainment while He, like an equally jolly Roman emperor or a Channel 7 game show host, sits on his fat ass sucking back grapes from the nipples of His many concubines.
But tell me, what intelligent designer would sit by idly while His creation creates such an intelligent thing as American Idol? Surely any intelligent designer would quickly put an end to this rubbish and throw in a little bit of chaos to keep us on our toes? You know, like the odd earthquake, tsunami, volcanic eruption, plague, asteroid from space, nuclear war or some other fantastically entertaining judgment day style drama.
Then He could turn it into a mini-series and go straight to TV.
I can see it now, My Life as an Intelligent Designer. It would certainly be better than anything else on television.
Seriously, we are so un-intelligent. We fight, steal, bitch and moan, we covet, lie, cheat, divide, conquer and generally fuck each other over at any given opportunity. We are single handedly responsible for the widespread destruction of our planet. The only way an intelligent being created us would be if that intelligent being were conducting some giant experiment in the biggest Petri dish ever, the Earth and wanted to see how quickly a species could not only annihilate itself but everything else along with it.
It just mustn’t have been fun enough to watch the dinosaurs choking to death after the intelligent designer hurled a stone in their general direction. Best to go on and create another one, this time with none of those nasty spikes and teeth, perhaps a little cuddlier, maybe more in His image?
That’s it you know. We are just one great big experiment by God to ‘see what happens’. Ho ho ho, I can hear the fat man chortling to Himself up in the clouds, having a little giggle at our puny cities compared to His I Am Lord God Don’t Fuck With Me Palace In The Sky. There is the intelligent designer, a dirty old sycophant with a penchant for pestilence and mass murder. What a great guy. Leaving us here to battle it out for His entertainment while He, like an equally jolly Roman emperor or a Channel 7 game show host, sits on his fat ass sucking back grapes from the nipples of His many concubines.
But tell me, what intelligent designer would sit by idly while His creation creates such an intelligent thing as American Idol? Surely any intelligent designer would quickly put an end to this rubbish and throw in a little bit of chaos to keep us on our toes? You know, like the odd earthquake, tsunami, volcanic eruption, plague, asteroid from space, nuclear war or some other fantastically entertaining judgment day style drama.
Then He could turn it into a mini-series and go straight to TV.
I can see it now, My Life as an Intelligent Designer. It would certainly be better than anything else on television.
